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Malta India Review

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Despite the name, Malta India¹ hails from Puerto Rico. I’ve never heard of it, and honestly it stood out to me mostly because of the adorably diminutive bottle. But looking at the label–it’s a non-alcoholic malt beverage. So…I’m not totally sure what’s in store here.

It smells strange. Like…soy sauce, maybe? Or oyster sauce on beef? It doesn’t smell like beer, that’s for damn sure.

Yeah…that tastes weird.

It’s not exactly sweet, and it’s not sour…but it’s not good, either. It tastes like bread and soy sauce blended together. It’s a very “thick” flavor.

I was thinking maybe it would taste like kvass, but no such luck.

Well, Wikipedia tells us that “Malta” is actually the name of a whole genre of sodas, and describes them as “beer that has not been fermented”. Also, it’s apparently often drunk mixed with condensed milk. That might help.

I guess I’m getting used to the taste. I still don’t really like it. It really does taste like something that should mixed with something else, or diluted, or…something.

But hey, according to Wikipedia, it’s rich in B vitamins. (The bottle doesn’t say so, but that doesn’t necessarily mean anything.)

Yeah, now it just doesn’t taste like much of anything. It’s just…it’s not my thing. I’d try mixing it with condensed milk, though. That might work.

I finished it. It’s not like there was a lot of it. I won’t recommend it–having never had a malta before, I can’t say if it’s a good example or not–but I finished it without too much trouble.

¹Produced by Comapañia Cervecera de Puerto Rico, Inc.


One thought on “Malta India Review

  1. For future reference:
    Actors of fully Jewish background: -Logan Lerman, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Mila Kunis, Natalie Portman, Bar Refaeli, James Wolk, Julian Morris, Esti Ginzburg, Kat Dennings, Erin Heatherton, Odeya Rush, Anton Yelchin, Paul Rudd, Scott Mechlowicz, Lizzy Caplan, Emmanuelle Chriqui, Gal Gadot, Robert Kazinsky, Melanie Laurent, Marla Sokoloff, Shiri Appleby, Justin Bartha, Adam Brody, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Gabriel Macht, Halston Sage, Seth Gabel.

    Actors with Jewish mothers and non-Jewish fathers -Jake Gyllenhaal, Dave Franco, Scarlett Johansson, Daniel Radcliffe, Alison Brie, Eva Green, Emmy Rossum, Jennifer Connelly, Eric Dane, Jeremy Jordan, Joel Kinnaman.

    Actors with Jewish fathers and non-Jewish mothers, who themselves were either raised as Jews and/or identify as Jews: -Andrew Garfield, Ezra Miller, Alexa Davalos, Nat Wolff, James Maslow, Josh Bowman, Ben Foster, Nikki Reed, Zac Efron.

    Actors with one Jewish-born parent and one parent who converted to Judaism -Dianna Agron, Sara Paxton (whose father converted, not her mother), Alicia Silverstone, Jamie-Lynn Sigler.

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