If you want the gravy…

…You've got to get the biscuits!

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The Films of 2016, In 100 Words or Less Each: Part I


An ugly, incoherent, joyless experience…but a pretty damn good poster. (Source)

I’m catching up on these reviews, dammit. And I’m gonna do it by giving myself some guidelines.

Each film must be summed up in 100 words or less. Good or bad, complex or straightforward, doesn’t matter a damn. (I’m excluding, of course, any films which I’ve already reviewed in full.)

I’m proceeding from worst to best. This list comprises all the films which I ranked **½ or lower. The next list will be all the films I ranked ***. Then, ***½. Finally, the **** films. And once I’ve closed the door on seeing new films for my film awards (which will probably be at the end of January), I’ll add in the reviews of any films I missed.

So let’s get down to it.

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My Six-Month Film Awards: 2016

The Lobster poster

“Why a lobster?” “Because lobsters live for over 100 years, are blue-blooded like aristocrats, and they stay fertile all of their lives.”


  1. The Lobster
  2. Weiner
  3. Finding Dory
  4. Captain America: Civil War
  5. Zootopia
  6. Swiss Army Man
  7. Tale of Tales
  8. The Invitation
  9. Lamb
  10. Elvis & Nixon

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POSTER SALAD III: Just a Whole Bunch of Shit

I haven’t done of these since November. I’m not going to do every interesting poster that came out in the interim, but I’d like to highlight some of the best of the last month or two.

First, this poster for the new film by Greek New Wave director Athina Rachel Tsingari. I quite liked her film Attenberg, and this is hopefully comparably fascinating. I like the cryptic nature of the poster and love the tagline, and since most of you have probably never heard of her or her films, I thought it would be a choice to kick things off with.

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