Cap’n Crunch’s Sprinkled Donut Crunch Review


Cap’n Crunch was never a big part of my cereal-eating life as a kid. Why, I can’t be sure—parental intervention, perhaps—but as it is, I’m not sure I ever so much as owned a box of the stuff until I bought this one. And I did that because Price Chopper was listing it as a “discontinued item” and selling it for half price. So why not snap up a box? I’m not one to pass up a deal.

But is there a reason they decided to stop carrying it, and a reason the Cap’n and I have so rarely crossed paths before? I’m aware of its reputation for scratching the roof of your mouth, but that doesn’t seem to have shortened the life of the brand any. No matter, it’s 7:45 in the morning, I’m up way too early, and I might as well eat something. So why don’t you Crunchatize me, Cap’n?!

Smells very sweet. Kind of like frosted cake.

The pieces appear to be little rings topped with sprinkles, kind of like Cheerios. Let’s try a few before we add the milk.

Sweet. Very sweet. Oddly familiar, in a way. Maybe a little reminiscent of Kix—which was one of my favorite cereals as a kid, especially the Berry Berry variety.

My mouth is unscratched. That’s good, at least.

To be sure, I haven’t had many cereals of this kind lately—the super-sugary, aimed-at-kids kind—but this isn’t wholly unappealing. Just sweet. Not a ton of other flavors present. So let’s add the milk (as usual, I’m using unsweetened plain almond milk).

Still that pervasive cakey sweetness. Not cloying, thankfully, but not incredibly enticing either. Honestly, especially when you factor in the shape, they taste like sweet Cheerios (Honey Nut, perhaps). They’re thicker and a bit heartier than Cheerios, but otherwise the comparison is sound.

As with any good cereal, this is providing me with ample nutrients. All of my folic acid for the day. Ample amounts of thiamin, riboflavin, and zinc. And, of course, Vitamin B6.

The back of the box contains a “donut-matching” game and a few pieces of donut trivia—most interesting of which is the fact that tomorrow, June 7, is National Donut Day. It’ll be the 81st such holiday.

My favorite, though, might be “Donut was originally spelled…Doughnut!” Now that’s what I call trivia.

Also an errant cow may have invented the donut by knocking over some boiling oil onto some pastry mix. Beats the Chicago Fire, I guess.

So yeah, that’s Sprinkled Donut Crunch. Not bad, and something I’ll probably more actively enjoy finishing than some of the cereals I’ve reviewed, but had it not been on sale, I probably wouldn’t have tried it, and wouldn’t have missed its absence from my life.

You could certainly do worse for a classic sugary cereal, but you could do much better—and the next cereal I’ve got lined up to review most certainly is.

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