If you want the gravy…

…You've got to get the biscuits!

TRAILER SALAD IX – THE MEGAPACK: MACBETH, EVEREST, THE WALK, FELT (NSFW), THE TRIBE (NSFW?), Z FOR ZACHARIAH, MISTRESS AMERICA, ARABIAN NIGHTS, KAHLIL GIBRAN’S THE PROPHET, CRIMSON PEAK, SUFFRAGETTE, PAWN SACRIFICE, IRRATIONAL MAN, EDEN, I BELIEVE IN UNICORNS, 99 HOMES, LILA & EVE, UNEXPECTED, WELCOME TO HAPPINESS, A WALK IN THE WOODS

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Oh, hell yes.

The reviews for this out of Cannes were pretty damn good. And I can see why.

I’m predicting nominations from me for Actor, Actress, Cinematography, Makeup, Original Score, and Sound Mixing, with Picture and Director distinct possibilities.

This is also just a damned well-cut trailer.

Anyway, I’ve got 19 more trailers for you, so let’s get to it:

I was wondering how this would be. I definitely want to see this trailer in a theater (especially for the sound), but I’m a little more intrigued.

You certainly can’t complain about the cast, and in 3D it could be agreeably grueling; this actually might be a good year for 3D–between this and the next film, it seems like we’re seeing more films which are using 3D as a genuine enhancement of the story, rather than a mere gimmick.

I’m not gung-ho about it or anything, but I think it’ll be worthwhile.

This is basically a dramatization of Man on Wire. It looks…weird.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6z8MCW16uZY

Weird in that it seems mostly serious, but there are these weird goofy touches, especially with the 3D (the bit with the arrow, the bit with the falling wire), and besides seeming a little superfluous, I’m not too sold either on the writing or JGL’s accent. On the other hand, it looks like it’ll be worthwhile as a IMAX-3D experience.

Robert Zemeckis has been shaky as of late (I wasn’t too wild about Flight, though that was more because of the writing), but I’ll at least hope for solid entertainment.

…wow.

I’m not sure I can really say anything that sums up this trailer better than just watching it for yourself.

We’ve got a pretty uncompromising feminist message (if the MRAs don’t attack it, it’s only because it went under their radar), Harmony Korine-ish grotesquerie, and some excellent cinematography. And Amy Everson might be an awards contender (for me, at least).

I really want to see this.

Ah, The Tribe. A drama about the tribulations of a Ukrainian school for the deaf–whose dialogue is entirely signed. Critically praised. Looks incredible.

And it’s being put out by Drafthouse, so I have an excellent chance at seeing this in the theater.

I will reserve further comment until my review.

Now, this film I’d listed as one of my most anticipated of the year, but having seen the trailer, I might walk that back a bit.

To be fair, the reviews out of Sundance were decent, and I won’t overlook the strength of the cast, but between the dicey accents and the fact that the material seems a good deal less fresh nowadays, my enthusiasm has waned. I’ll probably still see it–if it comes anywhere near me–but my expectations are lowered.

I really liked Frances Ha, and although this looks a little more self-consciously quirky than that film, I’ll be happy to check it out. It’s got a good soundtrack and Greta Gerwig being funny. What more do I really need?

If I do a Drama/Musical-Comedy split for my awards this year, she’s got a damn good chance of being up for Best Actress – Musical/Comedy. Maybe she’ll be up for Actress even if I don’t.

It’s a film about modern-day Portugal, structured like The Thousand and One Nights, it’s six-and-a-half hours long in three parts, and it got mostly raves out of Cannes.

This could be top 10 material. I’m really, really fascinated by the idea of this film. It looks good, too, but I don’t doubt that a film of this length and scope cannot be adequately represented by a trailer. I just hope I can see it in a theater.

Well, this looks gorgeous.

I’ve been waiting for it to actually come out, but I think it might be worth the wait.

Not the best cut trailer, but it’s an episodic film, and the important thing is the artistry, which appears to be of a very, very high standard. Bring it on, GKids.

This looks decidedly better than the first teaser, though I’m still not sure if it’ll be better than a good B-movie. That’s nothing to sneeze at, mind you, I’m just not sure if it’ll bring anything new to the haunted-house genre.

That production design, though.

(Also, is it just me, or is this trailer rather light on Jessica Chastain?)

I’ll be honest–this is a terrible trailer. It’s badly cut, highlights the most obvious lines, and I really don’t like the choice of song.

That said, I want to see this film. It’s about a major subject, it has a great cast, it looks solidly directed and has superb production values. It will probably be an Oscar contender in at least a few categories (though, if they nominate Meryl again, unless she’s insanely good I’ll be annoyed).

I don’t know if I should expect it to be one of my favorites of the year, but if I can walk out and give it a sincere recommendation, I’ll be very happy indeed. And, despite my issues with the trailer, I think I’ll be able to.

This, on the other hand, looked like it would come out last year and be an Oscar contender, but it was not to be. I think it got some festival play, and met with solid but not awards-caliber reviews. So it’s coming out in September, and that will probably be that.

But, to be honest, I think it looks pretty good. I’m not all that familiar with Edward Zwick as a director (I saw Glory in high school, and that’s it), but it looks well-done to me, and Tobey Maguire is clearly giving a hell of a performance (the reviews confirm this), so he might at least get some awards attention.

I could see it cracking the lower end of my top 20, though. I don’t know, it just looks like one of those films I could find a lot of rewatch value in (kind of like Frost/Nixon).

Hey, it’s the annual new Woody Allen movie!

Wow, this looks like shit.

Seriously, show this to someone and don’t tell them it’s a Woody Allen film, and ask them what they thought. I guarantee no one will say anything better than “eh, looks okay”.

Yes, Phoenix is pretty much always good. Yes, Emma Stone is also generally excellent (she’s not having a great year, though). And it’s nice to see Parker Posey in something.

But this looks really lame. I have no desire whatsoever to see this. The only recent film of his I saw was Midnight in Paris, and I didn’t like it much at all. I have no need to bother with this.

I’d predicted this as a possible contender for my awards, and while, based on this trailer, I’m a hair less bullish, I’m still intrigued.

It looks quite well directed (I really liked the bit of animation), and the use of 90s music could hit a few nostalgia buttons for me. I’m not so sure about the actual story–Félix de Givry seems to be doing a solid job, I’m just not overly compelled by his tribulations. (It also seems like Greta Gerwig is probably more a guest star than a lead, which is too bad.)

Regardless, I intend to check it out. The reviews have certainly been good.

Oh, this looks fucking weird.

I’m sold. I’m not exactly part of the target audience, but I dig the aesthetic, and the fact that it’s directed by a woman suggests it might be a more sensitive and thoughtful take on the subject matter.

I’m not sure I’ll get to see it in a theater, but whenever I get the chance, I intend to. Because it looks fascinating.

This could be heavy-handed (it’s certainly not subtle in its indictment of the way the housing market works), but it looks pretty goddamn tense. Michael Shannon is always great, and I generally really like Andrew Garfield (I thought his Peter Parker/Spider-Man was hugely underrated), so at the very least they’ll be worth watching. And if it’s effective at depicting Garfield’s corruption, it could be a real dramatic dark night of the soul.

I haven’t seen any of Ramin Bahrani’s films, but I should probably change that–at the very least, with this. This has solid awards potential. (And speaking of Shannon, can we get a Midnight Special trailer one of these days?)

Yeah, it’s nice to see Viola Davis headlining a movie, but this looks thoroughly predictable (gee, think that one guy she killed was actually innocent?). She looks solid, but Jennifer Lopez seems to be stuck with a hamfistedly conceived character, and there’s nothing notable about the filmmaking.

I doubt this will go anywhere, sadly.

The trailer is your standard indie dramedy trailer, but I like Cobie Smulders, she and Gail Bean seem to have good chemistry, and the early reviews are quite positive. Probably it won’t be one of my top films this year, but it could be one of those charming little films you thoroughly enjoy your time with. And I’ve always got room for one of those.

I’m really not sure what this is, but I’m curious. I’m quickly becoming a fan of Kyle Gallner (he was a great smug bastard in Dear White People), there’s at least the kernel of a good premise here, the visual style (particularly the use of color) is interesting, and it’s got Nick Offerman.

The official synopsis:

“A children’s book author, Woody Ward, is the gatekeeper to a mysterious door in his closet that only allows certain people to enter. One such person, a suicidal artist, is led down a rabbit hole of bizarre coincidences that ultimately bring him to Woody’s doorstep. Though he has no idea where the door leads, Woody happily shepherds people through until he finds out the truth and his life is forever changed.”

So there’s a Being John Malkovich vibe here. All right. I’ll keep an eye out for this.

And we conclude, as we must, with wretchedness.

Oh, this looks bad. Trite humor, rich white people problems, clunky tearjerking…this looks perfectly awful.

At least Nick Nolte seems like he’s having fun.

More fun than whoever goes to see this, I’m sure.

Which might include me.

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