If you want the gravy…

…You've got to get the biscuits!

Shirley Temple Soda Pop Review

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Met up in Portland with my friends Mountain Was Here and his roommate, and we went bopping around, eating at a food truck and happening upon a store which, I was informed, had a fine soda selection. Perusing it, I didn’t find the soda I was looking for, but I saw “Hollywood’s Original Shirley Temple Soda Pop” (made, apparently, by the Shirley Temple Soda Company of Portland), in its 80’s retro teal and pink can, and figured I’d go for it.

Smells artificial. I’d say it smells like bubblegum, but who even knows?

Tastes…fruity. Like red. Artificial red fruit.

I suppose that’s what grenadine tastes like? But it’s made with cane sugar, so it’s less apocalyptically terrible for you than it tastes!

“Red 90 in a can.” “Red four times distilled.” So my companions dubbed it. Red it is.

They got Sipp Summer Pear soda and Fentimans Rose Lemonade, respectively. Both were tastier.

This soda, though. Why it was ever created is beyond me. I guess because no such thing existed before. It didn’t really need to, but…here it is!

This is what I’m drinking because Cherries N’ Mint continues to elude me. They can’t all be triumphs.

There’s still more of this shit? Ugh.

This fits so well on top of a food truck torta. What a fucking evening.


Finished. Like the end of the final boss-fight.

Not especially recommended.


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