If you want the gravy…

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Ozark Mountain The Smuggler’s Run Tropical Soda Review

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Ugh. Big backlog of reviews (two half-finished, two unwritten), a busy week ahead (how busy remains to be seen), it’s my least favorite day of the week (comes, no doubt, from Sunday being the day before going back to school on Monday), and right now, I have a headache. So what do I do? I bust out a LIMITED release soda straight from Branson, Mo., from the Ozark Mountain Bottleworks (a brand I’ve never tried!), and see just what this blue stuff is. And wonder just what I’m doing with my life.

It’s The Smuggler’s Run! A tropical soda! From the Ozarks!

Let’s crack this damn thing and see what we have. It smells…fruity. Familiar…the name of the original is on the tip of my tongue. One more whiff:

Fruit. Maybe an orange. Or a pineapple. It is a citrus scent, despite the blue coloration. Now to taste it.

I detect some coconut. And that’s actually by far the most distinct flavor I can detect. Tropical? If you say so, Ozark Mountain.

Still got its fizz, at least.

I have a pretty bad cold, so my sense of taste is a little wonky, but seriously–all I’m getting is coconut.

There’s a very vague, fruity, Hi-C-ish taste underneath the coconut tones. But not a whole lot. This is a very strange soda, I’ll give it that. Limited release?…yeah, that makes sense.

This is such a strange soda. I don’t know how to respond to it. I’m not a huge coconut fan, but I have to admit–they nailed the flavor well enough.

And I’m belching up a storm. Thank God these haven’t gone flat yet.

This tastes like it should be alcoholic. Like this is secretly a bottle of Parrot Bay or something. It’d probably make a decent mixer, to be honest.

Can I just call that background flavor “fruit”? It is the essence of a fruit flavor. It is every kind of fruit, and no fruit that has ever grown on Earth.

Maybe there’s a bit of kiwi in there? I don’t know. This is really frustrating. This soda frustrates me.

Let’s see what other flavors Ozark Bottleworks has in store! Their other limited release is a butter beer–that’s butterscotch–and while I don’t have their butter beer, I do have another brand of butter beer on hand. So I’ll be drinking that soon.

Otherwise, the usuals, except for their Ozark Mountain Lemonade, which appears to be pink lemonade with a little lemon-lime soda added. I’d try that.

God, I still have a finger of this stuff left? This 12 oz. bottle feels like a gallon.

There it is again! I get that fleeting idea of what fruit I’m thinking of, and it’s gone! DAMN YOU, SMUGGLER’S RUN!

Done. Finally done.

So yeah, if you like coconut, give it a shot. If you want a fairly rare soda to check off your list, it’s certainly drinkable. Otherwise…eh. It’s not that great. Piña colada (there, that’ll do) is just not a flavor I treasure.


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