If you want the gravy…

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Rocket Fizz Peanut Butter Soda Review



It’s a peanut butter soda.

I was going to have to try it sooner or later.

Let’s see if I regret it.

Ohhhhhhhhhhh boy. This is off to a rough start.

See, I love peanut butter. But it’s not a taste that suits the fizziness of soda. It’s a smooth, creamy taste, not a sharp one. And this…Jesus.

Oh, this is not good. Not good at all. It tastes like peanuts and soda, all right, but the two do not mix. Not at all. It doesn’t even taste like good peanuts, it tastes like old, stale peanuts, which is to say it tastes like shit. And the cold fizz only makes it worse.

It’s like the difference between a mixture and a compound–in a compound, the ingredients combine, they intermingle, they become a new entity–but this, this is a mixture, where two things that should never be in the same bottle are forced into one and quarrel on the tastebuds and generally make everyone miserable.

Especially me.

It tastes like they put the peanuts in whole, shells and all. And the shells were dusty. And they didn’t clean them first. Fuck this soda.

It even looks awful. It’s basically the color of ditchwater–a sort of pale brown, like watered down coffee or jenkem (remember jenkem?). Oh, this is bad.

Not a perfect picture, but trust me, it doesn’t look any better in reality.

Getting farther down and it’s a little better. Maybe the sweetness had settled to the bottom or something. Still, I do not recommend this shit.

For what it’s worth, it’s made by the Rocket Fizz Soda Pop and Candy Shops, LLC, in Camarillo, California. Oddly enough, that information is only in the fine print on the bottle; just glancing at it, there’s no brand information (unless you scrutinize the cap). I’m assuming Rocket Fizz is playing a joke on us and didn’t want us to know who to blame.

Now it’s just sort of mellowed into flavor I can only call “vague”, so it’s no longer actively offensive, just unappetizing.

I’d still say the spruce beer that kicked off this cycle of reviews is the worst soda I’ve reviewed thus far, but this is surely the runner-up. It’s just further proof that not all good flavors can be made into good sodas.

A little research on the company website tells me Rocket Fizz also makes buffalo wing, bacon, bacon and chocolate, and ranch dressing sodas.

What the actual fuck.


2 thoughts on “Rocket Fizz Peanut Butter Soda Review

  1. Pingback: Maine Root Pumpkin Pie Soda Review | If you want the gravy...

  2. Pingback: Rocket Fizz “Lester’s Fixins” Sweet Corn Soda Review | If you want the gravy...

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