If you want the gravy…

…You've got to get the biscuits!

Rat Bastard Root Beer Review

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So edgy.

It’s been a little while since I’ve done a soda review, and what better way to end this set of acquistions than with the most misanthropic soda I’ve yet to consume: Rat Bastard Root Beer, hailing from…somewhere. The bottle doesn’t say. Who cares, I want to drink this before it gets warm.


That’s…a completely average root beer.

Maybe a touch creamier than most, but still, not especially noteworthy.

Let’s talk about the label, why don’t we? “This time, put it in your mouth.” That’s creepy.

“It’s them against us.” I don’t even want to know who “they” are.

Also, the design of the label is super 90’s, with purple paintball-splotches and scratchy yellow lettering. That’s kind of cool. But whatever.

I’ll give it this, it’s got an interesting ingredients list. Titled “What you’ll be drinking”, it includes three types of ginseng (American, Siberian, and Korean), something called Mud Dog Weed (or Skullcap); jasmive, cloves, gingko biloba, gotu kola, echinacea, cordyceps, shitake (the mushroom?), and of course, sodium benzoate.

Still, this is pretty run-of-the-mill root beer, and when you get this cocky with your packaging, I really expect more.

Might as well mention the cap. “Don’t be a dick. Drink it.” Well, I did. I hope you’re happy. It also includes a web address (www.skeleteens.com) which proved to be defunct. Great sign.

Oh, and on the inside it says “This cap’s message doesn’t really go with all the others…sorry!” Well, you should be.

Don’t bother with it.

Does it make me a dick if I drank it and didn’t think it was very good?


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