If you want the gravy…

…You've got to get the biscuits!

Avery’s Melon Soda Review

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“…with a melon?!”

New England strikes again, this time the Avery’s Bottling Works in New Britain, CT. The soda shop I visited had a number of Avery’s sodas, but I decided to go off the beaten path and try their melon soda–perhaps not the best choice I’ve ever made, but let’s see if it worked out for me.

Well, right off the bat, I’ll say this beats yesterday’s spruce beer. This isn’t that great, but I can drink it without feeling too awful about myself.

The color is an issue, though. I’m not sure if it looks more like gasoline or formaldehyde (okay, formaldehyde is apparently colorless, but this has that weird, pale green-gold color that screams “medical chemical”), but it doesn’t look all that appetizing.

The taste…if a pack of watermelon gum fucked a glass of cold water, it might be a bit like this. These flavors are definitely inauthentic. Granted, it feels less like straight watermelon and more like the general concept, the idea of “melon”…there’s some honeydew in there, which is never a good thing. At least it’s not cantaloupe, though. Yech.

No nutritional facts on the bottle. Reassuring. It is a cane sugar soda, though, so it’s marginally less bad for me than corn syrup.

I wonder if this mixes well with vodka. Drink between a quarter and half of the bottle, top it off with vodka, shake a little, call it a New Britain Melonthumper.

I wonder what the “Gold Coin” trademark on here has to do with anything. Is that part of the name?

Almost done. This is just pure artificial melon flavor. It’s fine if you like that sort of thing, but it’s not good enough to praise or really bad enough to rant about. It’s just sort of there.

Finished with that. That was a thing I drank.

Try it once if you’re a soda completist, but I can’t imagine even completists giving it a second shot.

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