If you want the gravy…

…You've got to get the biscuits!

Empire Spruce Beer Review


Empire Spruce Beer Review

A new store opened up in town that sells soda and nothing but, for $2 a pop (pun intended). Being a fan of obscure sodas, I ventured forth and bought six sodas, which I’ll drink and review over the next six days. The first one, which I had chilled at the store and drank straight away, was Empire Bottling Works’ Spruce Beer, hailing from Bristol, RI.

I’ll cut to the chase–this stuff tasted like a fucking air freshener. It tasted like a pine needle salad with Vicks Vaporub dressing. It tasted like frenching a beaver after it chewed down a spruce tree. It tasted like mixing Pine Sol and flat seltzer, then cursing God before downing the entire mixture.

Except this shit won’t kill you. It just tastes like ass.

The pungency of the herbal flavor dulled a bit as it got warmer, but it never became good. It’s a pretty thoroughly awful beverage.

I know it’s old school, and some Rhode Islander probably sits outside the general store where they sell these and says “It’ll put hair on yer chest!” before spitting chaw juice on the floor/ground/front of his shirt. But really, Moxie and Green River are infinitely better choices.


2 thoughts on “Empire Spruce Beer Review

  1. Pingback: Rocket Fizz Peanut Butter Soda Review | If you want the gravy...

  2. Pingback: Rocket Fizz “Lester’s Fixins” Sweet Corn Soda Review | If you want the gravy...

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